The 67th edition of the Cannes Film Festival opened Tuesday evening with a typically lavish premiere of Olivier Dahan’s “Grace of Monaco,” starring Nicole Kidman. Also typically, it was met with resounding jeers from the critics. There is always one, usually more than one. Cannes is just as famous for its cantankerous audience members, who have no problem plainly booing a film they don’t like, as its ravishing red carpet and sun-baked Euro party-vibe.
With all the hoopla — What models will be partying on yachts? Will there be another jewel heist? — it’s almost easy to forget that Cannes is not just some congratulatory celebration by the sea, but an actual film festival, the best film festival in the world maybe. Every year its main competition is debated months in advance, with critics and cinephiles trying to guess who will make it and who won’t. The festival is a massive undertaking (there are 18 films in the main competition alone), so to help make sense of it all, we’ve compiled a handy guide detailing which films to definitely check out, which ones to keep your eye on, and which ones to avoid at all costs.
MUST WATCH:
“Goodbye to Language,” Directed by Jean-Luc Godard
There is never a reason not to see a new film from Godard, maybe our greatest living filmmaker. The fact that he’s not making films as much as Woody Allen means we’re doing something wrong, and this new one, shot in 3-D, looks intriguing.
“Two Days, One Night,” Directed by Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne
The Dardenne brothers are, unlike Godard, at Cannes almost every year, or so it seems. Not that I’m complaining. They’ve won many awards here, including the top prize, and their new film, starring Marion Cotillard, looks like it may win another.
“Maps to the Stars,” Directed by David Cronenberg
Cronenberg returns after his excellent adaptation of Don Delillo’s nightmarish “Cosmopolis” with this Hollywood satire that he’s had on the backburner for a few years. The film stars John Cusack, Julianne Moore, and Robert Pattinson, and the script is from novelist Bruce Wagner.
“Saint Laurent,” Directed by Bertrand Bonello
Gaspard Ulliel plays the famous fashion designer in Bonello’s followup to “House of Pleasure,” one of the best and most underappreciated films of the last decade.
“Sils Maria,” Directed by Olivier Assayas
Aside from Steven Soderbergh, Assays is maybe the most versatile filmmaker on the planet. After his epic-length international-terrorism drama “Carlos,” and the autobiographical “Something in the Air,” he’s back in Cannes with a new film starring the trio of Juliette Binoche, Kristen Stewart, and Chloe Moretz.
“The Homesmen,” Directed by Tommy Lee Jones
The old grizzled actor once again plays an old grizzled cowboy. I wouldn’t miss this for the world, even if Jones mumbles his way throughout the entire film. This time he’s behind the camera as well, and the last time he directed a film he won an award at Cannes, so chances are good the audience will get behind the old geezer.
“Mr. Turner,” Directed by Mike Leigh
I’m not as big a fan of Leigh as others seem to be, but this film, a portrait of landscape painter J.M.W. Turner, here played by Timothy Spall, seems to be out of Leigh’s usual milieu. Which makes me want to see it even more.
Best of the Rest:
“Jauja,” Directed by Lisandro Alonso
“In the Name of My Daughter,” Directed by André Techine
“The Rover,” Directed by David Michold
“Bird People,” Directed by Pascale Ferran
MAYBE?:
“Leviathan,” Directed by Andrey Zvyagintsev
The only reason this is in this category and not the one above is because I’ve never seen a film by this filmmaker. But a lot of people seem to be very excited about this film, and I’m not unsusceptible to hype, so this is where this lands.
“Foxcatcher,” Directed by Bennett Miller
Miller is a decent enough filmmaker, I guess, but it’s hard to see a reason why a film like this even needs to be in the main competition at Cannes. Starring Steve Carrell and Channing Tatum, this will be all over the place in a few months while excellent films are stuck in the sidebars and will never reach a theater outside the festival circuit. End of rant.
“Timbuktu,” Directed by Abderrahmane Sissako
Here is something I’m not proud to admit: I’ve never seen a film by Sissako. Never. I know. So that is why this film is here, although I’m sure I’ll regret this later. I guess you can strip me of my film-writing card now.
“Winter Sleep,” Directed by Nuri Bilge Ceylan
Another filmmaker that people love but I’ve never been able to appreciate, for whatever reason. And this one, at roughly three hours, makes me want to make obvious jokes about falling asleep.
“Still the Water,” Directed by Naomi Kawase / “Wild Tales,” Directed by Damián Szifron
I don’t know anything about these, and don’t know enough of the filmmaker’s works to make a solid judgment, but they both look interesting and, frankly, there are only two female filmmakers in the main competition and I would feel horrible putting them both in the dismal final category.
Possible Others:
“The Salt of the Earth,” Directed by Wim Wenders and Juliano Ribeiro Salgado
“Misunderstood,” Directed by Asia Argento
“La Chambre Bleue,” Directed by Mathieu Amalric
NEVER MIND:
“The Captives,” Directed by Atom Egoyan
Egoyan once made a few decent films, but that was a long time ago. Now, he seems content with turning out rote psychological thrillers, and Cannes for some reason continues to treat him like a filmmaker who’s worth paying attention to. I’d rather watch those dollar-bin action-movie DVDs starring professional wrestlers than anything he’s made in the last 10 years.
“Jimmy’s Hall,” Directed by Ken Loach
Pretty much the same as above, except I’m not sure Loach ever made a good film. Or if he did, it was so long ago that most of you reading this were not alive. But, once again, Cannes seems willing to not just show every single film this man manages to make, but to even give him awards.
“The Wonders,” Directed by Alice Rohrwacher
Rohrwacher makes the kind of drivel that gives foreign films a bad name in this country. Nothing much more to say here.
“Mommy,” Directed by Xavier Dolan
If there’s a more overhyped and less interesting filmmaker on the planet right now, please point me in his direction. For now, I’ll just stick with trying to avoid anything Dolan makes. He’s young, so maybe we can chalk it up to that.
“The Search,” Directed by Michel Hazanavicius
From the guy who brought you “The Artist,” that terrible fake-silent movie that your grandmother loved and won a bunch of Academy Awards, is back. This time with sound. No thanks.
Worst of the Rest:
“Grace of Monaco,” Directed by Olivier Dahan
“Lost River,” Directed by Ryan Gosling
The 2014 Cannes Film Festival runs through May 25.
