It’s a bad sign when you feel the need to check the time during the middle of a movie. It’s a clear indication that you haven’t disappeared into the world of the film, and that, more often than not, you’re hoping the end credits are near. So to give you an idea of how much I disliked “After Earth,” just know this: I checked my phone well over 10 times. The film’s only 100 minutes long.
“After Earth” may be the worst film that I have ever paid money to see. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan and starring Will Smith (who also conceived the story) and his son Jaden, the film tells the tale of Cypher Raige (yes, that’s really his name) and his son Kitai, who, 1,000 years in the future, are the only survivors aboard a ship that crash lands on the no-longer-inhabited-by-humans Earth. To make matters worse, Cypher, general of Nova Prime’s Ranger Corps, is gravely injured, leaving it up to Kitai — who has not inherited his father’s courage or battle field acumen — to initiate the homing beacon in the tail of the ravaged ship. Two problems, though: 1) the tail of the ship is 100km away from the rest of the crash site, and 2) since humans abandoned Earth for Nova Prime, every single one of the planet’s inhabitants have evolved into a blood-thirsty-people-killing creatures. If all that sounds like the makings of bad sci-fi film, that’s because that’s exactly what “After Earth” is.
It’d be one thing if the weak story was the movie’s main issue, but it’s just one of many. The acting is atrocious, consisting mainly of characters grimacing into the camera. Plus, everyone speaks with this utterly strange and laughable Kennedy-esque accent. And, you’d think that having cost a reported $130 million to make, the film would at least look slick, but it doesn’t. The design of everything, from the costumes to the ships to Earth itself, looks unimaginative and chintzy, and the CGI, with the exception of the main monster, looks half a decade old. Worst of all is that the film bombards us with trite platitudes every few minutes (the movie’s tagline: “Danger is real. Fear is a choice”). It’s cute, I guess, but it felt like a tribute to certain controversial belief system that’s very popular among some celebrities.
If there’s one good thing to be said about “After Earth,” it’s that it proves that the American people don’t have completely bad taste. The film, a definite passion project for Will Smith, opened to a disappointing $27 million domestically and was third at the box office — it wasn’t even the week’s strongest debut (“Now You See Me,” a magic and crime drama, brought in $28.1 million, trailing only “Fast and Furious 6” over the weekend). Ever since 1996’s “Independence Day,” Smith has been practically a sure bet at the summer box office, but “After Earth” is easily his worst summer movie debut, besting (worsting?) the atrocious “Wild Wild West” (which, after an adjustment for inflation, brought in $38.7 million back in 1999) significantly. Come on, even one of last year’s big disasters, “John Carter,” had a better opening.
Friday sees the release of “The Internship,” a lowbrow comedy starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson that attempts to recapture the (non-existent) magic of the duo’s past collaborations. That film and “Grown Ups 2” (due out July 12) are the only reasons I’m not ready to crown “After Earth” the summer’s worst movie just yet.
“After Earth”
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Writers: Gary Whitta and M. Night Shyamalan (Story by Will Smith)
Starring: Will Smith, Jaden Smith, Zoë Kravitz, Sophie Okonedo
Opening Weekend Gross: $27 million