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Seven Ways to Tackle the Coming Apocalypse

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Colleen Clark
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Chichen Itza -- Courtesy of Chris via Flickr
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Chichen Itza -- Courtesy of Chris via Flickr
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Chichen Itza -- Courtesy of Chris via Flickr
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Every few years some crank doomsdayer predicts the end of the world (cue eye roll). But when the soothsayer is one of the great ancient civilizations, responsible for perfecting such advances as, oh, writing, our cynicism starts to crumble. Some experts believe that the Mayans marked December 21, 2012as the end of their calendar and, perhaps, the world as we know it. On the off chance that they’re right, we think it’s time to skip town and get down with these end-of-days getaways.

 

Pictured: Prime real estate in 2013 -- Photo by Josh Bernstein / BOSS Inc.

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Commune with the Maya
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Xunantunish aerial view
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Be one of a small handful of people able to spend a night on a Mayan ruin by booking at stay at Ka’ana in Belize. After a few days at their luxe spot in San Ignacio, you’ll helicopter into the jungles of the Chiquibul Forest Reserve and camp out among the ruins of Caracol, the largest Maya city in Belize, with a tour by the country’s Director of Archaeology. Pass the time sampling hearty Mayan fare or tack on a torchlit visit to a cave known for human sacrifices—just in case.

 

Pictured: Xunantunich ruins, a necessary stop for understanding our apocalyptic overlords -- Courtesy of Ka'ana Belize

Title: 
Be a Survivor
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BOSS survival camps
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No one really knows what’s going to go down when the calendar ends, so be prepared by taking this survival skills course whether it's Y2K or World War Z. Billed as the more hardcore sibling of Outward Bound, the Boulder Outdoor Survival School offers 7-, 14-, 21- and 28-day field courses in Southern Utah’s mountains, mesas, deserts and canyons. Students travel with little more than a blanket, poncho and a knife, learning everything from fire construction to water location/purification, shelter construction to edible/medicinal plant identification.

 

Pictured: Old-school tracking (because the future may be even worse than Apple Maps) -- Photo by Josh Bernstein / BOSS Inc.

Title: 
Go out with a Bang
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Cotopaxi lava fields
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Since the world is ending, there’s no need to fear extreme bodily injury. So we suggest you take on a hardcore adventure like this 10-day mountain biking tour of Ecuador. Your rides include names like “Little Hell,” a fast and furious descent into the mouth of the Pululahua volcano on a teeny single track. And then you’ll tackle the 19,347-foot Cotopaxi, the world’s highest active volcano. We’re not sure which is a bigger risk, hurtling down petrified lava, sand and ash, or tempting the gods on this fiery mount.

 

Pictured: A front row seat to the next Big Bang at the Cotopaxi lava fields -- Courtesy of Joshua Bousel via Flickr

Title: 
Hunker Down Underground
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Puerto Princesa in the Philippines
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Gather your coins and get in line early, The Puerto Princesa in the Philippines could be the River Styx. The crystalline waters of the world’s largest subterranean river wend more than five miles through karst limestone caves before emptying into the South China Sea. The areas surrounding the river may feel like heaven—sugar sand beaches backed by tropicals forests colored by rainbow-hued birds—but head into the underworld, and you’ll contend with pythons and bats, spiders and scorpions. In other words, when it's time to emerge, any new horrors outside will feel like nothing. 

 

Pictured: Puerto Princesa, the mouth of madness or salvation (your choice) -- Courtesy of Storm Crypt via Flickr

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Numb the Pain
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Makers Mark distillery
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One last rager and several stiff drinks should take the edge off of the coming Apocalypse. And for that we suggest a good old fashioned booze crawl along the Kentucky Bourbon Trail’s seven historic distilleries. The state’s bluegrass byways lead to brown booze havens like Elijah Craig, Buffalo Trace, Maker’s Mark and Knob Creek. Or head to Washington state or Colorado, where the recent recreational legalization of pot will make it easier to toke till the end of days. 

 

Pictured: Bourbon, bourbon everywhere, let's all have a drink -- Photo by Teri Bloom / Maker's Mark Distillery

Title: 
Empty the Bank Account
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Private Jetset
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Money: you can’t take it with you, that’s for sure. So why not blow it all on a once-in-a-lifetime trip? Smithsonian Journeys can plan private jet around-the-world adventures to help you check off all your bucket list spots. Ride elephants in Bali, climb to mountaintop temples in Bhutan, go gorilla trekking in Rwanda, and bed down in the ornate palaces of Rajasthan.

 

Pictured: Next stop, Destiny -- Photo by Mark Leary via Flickr 

 

Title: 
Get Closer to God—<br>and Repair that Karma
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Mount Everest
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So maybe you don’t really believe in the big G, but on the off chance that there’s a heaven, you might as well get as close to it as possible by going to Tibet. It’s got the highest mountain (Everest), the highest accessible road (Semo La at more than 20,000 feet) and the highest railway journey (through the Tanggula Mountains at 16,640 feet up). While you’re there, you can work on your karma by adding some voluteering to your trip through Conscious Journeys.

 

Pictured: A divine sunrise over Mount Everest -- Courtesy of Phobus via Flickr

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Seven Ways to Tackle the Coming Apocalypse
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December 21st wil be here sooner than you think—and if the Mayans were right, it's time for a trip.

 

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